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Dieser Tage haben ein paar Freunde und ich uns wieder des Comunio-Managerspiels erinnert und sind gemeinsam in die Saison 2019/20 gestartet. Bei meinem derzeitigen Einkaufsglück fühle ich mich an einen prominenten Bayern-Trainer erinnert. Der hatte sein Amt mit der Prämisse angetreten, jeden seiner Spieler besser zu machen. Nun wird natürlich kein Trainer jemals das Gegenteil von sich behaupten, und Häme ist von meiner Seite unangebracht. Ich bin kein sonderlich erfolgreicher Spieler, lediglich abstiegskampferprobt in der Kreisklasse, kein Trainer und offenbar auch kein Manager.
Nach einem anfänglichen Lauf, als ich bis zur ersten Länderspielpause (Länderspielpausen: ein Thema für sich) zum Krösus der Liga aufstieg, traf ich im Überschwang des reichlich vorhandenen Geldes einige im Nachhinein schwerwiegende Managemententscheidungen. Dieser Tage muss ich sagen: ich bin ein richtiger Spielerverschlechterer.
Hinterher zur urteilen, das wissen „Brazzo“, „Schmaddi“ und „Susi“ am besten, ist einfach. Wer konnte schon ahnen, dass Raphael Guerreiro (bei Comunio mittlerweile verkauft) seinen Vertrag nach seinem Disneyland-Besuch in Paris doch verlängert, dass Jonathan Tah (gekauft) eine grausame Länderspielreise erlebt und auch in der Bundesliga auf der Bank landet.
Wer hätte gedacht, dass mein neues Stürmer-Duo um Comebacker Belfodil (gekauft) und Joker-Ergänzung Polter (gekauft) nicht nur nicht trifft, sondern Zweiterer mit seiner Roten Karte gleich mal eisern für 14 Minuspunkte sorgt. Zum Vergleich: Nah fünf Spieltagen stand ich mit insgesamt 87 Punkten immerhin im gesicherten Mittelfeld. Am 6. Spieltag durfte ich mich über – der geschlossenen Mannschaftsleistung sei dank – über einen ganzen hinzugewonnenen Punkt freuen.
Über die augenblicklichen Marktwertverluste von Arnold (gekauft) und Caliguri (gekauft) möchte ich gar nicht klagen, auch nicht über die für einen Spieltag glorreiche Verpflichtung von Johannes Eggestein. Der holte sich in seinem einzigen Einsatz für mich gleich gelb-rot ab und sechs Minuspunkte. Vielmehr sollte ich mich künftig an den guten Entscheidungen erfreuen. Auch ich habe eine getroffen und den Kader á la Felix Magath auf links gekrempelt: Tah, Belfodi und Polter u.a. verkauft. Dafür kam Paco Alcacer (mit bis dahin 40 Punkten).
Die Fans hätten mich gefeiert – bis zum nächsten Spiel. Da saß der Spanier zunächst auf der Bank, erspielte einen Minuspunkt und wurde wegen einer Verletzung für das kommende Spiel aus dem Champions-League-Kader gestrichen. Zwei Millionen Marktwert waren direkt verbrannt. Danach fiel Alcacer aus und ich ahne schon, wer am Wochenende nicht treffen wird. Habt ihr einen Tipp? Welches waren eure grandiosen Transferentscheidungen? Oder seid ihr Spielerverbesserer?
Hier schreibt Jan-Mikael Teuner, Buchautor von Kunibert Eder, dem Hobbyermittler mit dem in Verdachtsmomenten kitzelnden Schnurrbart. Sein erster Fall führt „Uns Kuno“ in die Fußball-Kreisklasse.
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